HOUSTON – The flowers are out, reservations are made, and jewelry is on sale. Every year across the country, women are honored on Mother’s Day.
For some children, however, this day is a painful reminder of the mother they lost.
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As a child who grew up without a mother, this day is nothing new for my older sister and me. We lost our mother in a fatal car accident when we were toddlers and were raised by our wonderful grandparents. As we got older, each Mother’s Day became a little sweeter. We learned to truly appreciate the special people in our lives and honor our grandmother for picking up the pieces that were left behind.
My sister, Brandie Taylor, always made sure we celebrated our grandmother on Mother’s Day.
“I was more thankful for my grandmother being there and not making it an awkward day for us. I made her something, and she would always tell me how much my mother would have loved that gift as well,” Taylor said.
As a mother myself, I would never want my child to mourn my absence on a day meant for celebration—and I can’t imagine any mother would want her child to suffer as we did.
Mother’s Day can be a time to remember the good moments you shared with your mother, siblings, other family members, and friends.
Dominick Davis, who lost his mother, still celebrates her by buying her a gift.
“To be honest, I’m still going to buy her something even though she is gone from my sight, but not from my mind. I still look at it as if she is still here,” Davis said.
J’Da Sonier, who lost her mother to brain cancer, said she likes to stay busy with family and celebrate with them.
“Since my mom passed, my dad and friends always try to keep me busy for Mother’s Day. They plan dinners or gatherings as a way to steer my mind away from it,” Sonier said. “This year we are going to church together, and we have a reservation at P.F. Chang’s.”
Ryan Thompson, who also lost his mother, said he likes to celebrate other mothers.
“I often celebrate women who are mothers and I’m close to,” Thompson said.
“I used to write a letter to her every year, burn it, and pray,” Raven Payour-Sanchez said.
“I make it a point to visit her gravesite before I do anything else on Mother’s Day,” Sly Rogue said.
Despite having a strained relationship with her mother, Erika Cobio said she looks forward to celebrating with her own children.
“I haven’t had a relationship with my mother for years, but I celebrate myself as a mother,” Cobio said.
These responses show that Mother’s Day can still be celebrated, whether or not your mother is physically present.
Here’s a list of ideas on how you can continue to celebrate Mother’s Day without your mother:
- Gather with siblings or other family members and cook your mother’s favorite meal, or go out to eat at her favorite restaurant.
- Celebrate Mother’s Day with someone who is like a mother figure to you, such as a grandmother, mother-in-law, or a close friend’s mother.
- Write a letter of appreciation to your mother, read it aloud, and take a moment of silence to honor her life.
- If you’re comfortable, visit your mother’s gravesite and tell her about your life and accomplishments.
- Host a candlelight vigil or gathering with family and friends in her honor.