‘I play the game the right way:’ Texans’ Azeez Al-Shaair reflects on controversial hit last year against Jaguars

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. – Standing inside the Texans’ locker room, veteran linebacker Azeez Al-Shaair smiled widely as he held court about the most difficult adversity he’s faced in his career. If he’s even a bit concerned about the reception, he’ll face Sunday in Jacksonville, Fla., Al-Shaair hardly showed any preoccupation whatsoever.

A year ago, Al-Shaair was in the crosshairs of a major controversy and unwanted scrutiny. His diving tackle on sliding Jacksonville Jaguars quarterback Trevor Lawrence caused a concussion and set off a brawl. He was ejected for unsportsmanlike conduct, suspended for three games and became the recipient of harsh words in a disciplinary letter from NFL executive Jon Runyan, who, ironically, was once known as one of the dirtiest players in the league as a Philadelphia Eagles offensive tackle.

Al-Shaair described his state of mind as being “in a dark place,” sitting in a room by himself for five days. When his appeal of the suspension was denied, he posted a photograph of the Joker character portrayed by Joaquin Phoenix with a caption saying he would embrace being a villain.

Now, Al-Shaair, a devout Muslim and a frequent subject of hate speech and racist comments on social media, is back in Jacksonville, Fla., for the first time since that episode last year.

For Al-Shaair, it’s about his actions, not words. As for those that have a negative perception of him and don’t like him and prejudge his reputation, Al-Shaair insists that’s not his problem. It’s theirs.

“The only thing I’m gonna let talk are these shoulder pads right here,” Al-Shaair said while touching each shoulder with his hands. “I don’t got to say much. It’s not really up to me to try to take somebody to understand who I am. If you know me and you’re blessed to be around me, then you know who I am. If you’re not, then I’ll just pray for you.”

Since his isolation from the defending AFC South champions last year, Al-Shaair, a team captain, has moved past that difficult time in his career.

A former undrafted free agent from Florida Atlantic who experienced homelessness with his family growing up in Tampa, Fla., Al-Shaair earned a three-year, $34 million contract two years ago to reunite with Texans coach DeMeco Ryans from their time together with the San Francisco 49ers.

Al-Shaair is the Texans’ defensive signal caller, relaying the plays from Ryans, the architect of a proud defense.

His focus is on football and trying to get the winless Texans a victory after a rough start to the season. Yes, he does expect to be extremely unpopular Sunday at EverBank Stadium where the Jaguars haven’t defeated the Texans at home since the 2017 season. The boos are coming.

“I’ve gotten all type of crazy stuff since that day,” Al-Shaair said. “I still get it to this day from people just in general. I don’t know if they’re fans of football or they just hate me. Either way, that’s between them and God. I have no clue.”

Although Al-Shaair apologized to Lawrence, he was still suspended by the NFL. His appeal was denied. And he was called a player who “lacked sportsmanship and respect for the game” in a letter from Runyan. Al-Shaair traveled to New York to meet with him, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and executive Troy Vincent. Runyan acknowledged that the comment was referring to the fight that ensued after the hit and lacked context. Texans general manager Nick Caserio vehemently defended Al-Shaair and was as angry about the comment from Runyan as he’s ever been publicly.

What’s next for Al-Shaair? Tackling, within the rulebook.

“I’m gonna go out there and do what I’ve done my entire career,” Al-Shaair said. “Play as hard as I can. Anybody who got the ball in their hand, that’s who I’m trying to hit and just do my job.”

When the coin toss before kickoff ensues, Lawrence and Al-Shaair will both be at midfield Sunday representing their respective teams. Lawrence said he has no plans for anything other than a normal interaction, which usually involves shaking hands.

“It’s not something I’ve thought about since then,” Lawrence said. “Everybody’s different. It’s football. It’s a violent game. Obviously, it’s unfortunate when things like that happen. I don’t want to get into all of that again.

“Will I say anything to him? Not outside of what I would do with whoever was out there for the toss,”

The inflammatory language in a disciplinary letter from Runyan, who had a well-earned reputation as a dirty player during his days as a Philadelphia Eagles offensive lineman, enraged Al-Shaair, coaches and teammates who steadfastly defended his character and integrity.

In the NFL disciplinary letter from Runyan to Al-Shaair explaining the suspension, he cited repeated violations of the rules intended to protect the health and safety of players and promote sportsmanship. Al-Shaair appealed his suspension, but it was upheld by appeals officer and former Pittsburgh Steelers offensive lineman Ramon Foster.

The suspension cost him $112,745 per week, including $83,333 per week in salary, plus $29,411.76 in per game active roster bonuses.

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“During your game against the Jacksonville Jaguars on December 1, with 4:20 remaining in the second quarter, you were involved in a play that the League considers unacceptable and a serious violation of the playing rules,” Runyan wrote. “Video shows you striking the head/neck area of Jaguars’ quarterback Trevor Lawrence after he clearly goes down in a feet-first slide...You led with your forearm and helmet and delivered a forceful blow to the head/neck area of your opponent when you had time and space to avoid such contact.”

“After the illegal hit, you proceeded to engage in a brawl, which you escalated when you pulled an opponent down to the ground by his facemask. After the referee announced that you were disqualified for the hit and your unsportsmanlike acts, you removed your helmet and reengaged with your opponent while walking down and across the field, which started another physical confrontation near the end zone. Your lack of sportsmanship and respect for the game of football and all those who play, coach, and enjoy watching it, is troubling and does not reflect the core values of the NFL. Your continued disregard for NFL playing rules puts the health and safety of both you and your opponents in jeopardy and will not be tolerated.”

Al-Shaair, to this day, does feel like the league negatively impacted his reputation.

“It’s definitely a personal thing in a way because it’s about the credibility of my name, but I guess that’s more just how I attack the whole season because obviously I was a league-wide thing that they tried to make me out to be somebody that I wasn’t,” he said. “I’ve just kind of been trying to prove a point every single week of who I am,” Al-Shaair said. “I play hard, but I play the game the right way, so that’s just what I’m going to keep doing.”

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Initially, Al-Shaair was reluctant to speak to the league officials that meted out his punishment and, in his view, judged him unfairly.

“I really had a moment of, there’s no way I can go out and play football again if this is how people that I work with view me,” Al-Shaair said last year. “If me going up there was about me trying to prove that I’m a good person or me trying to prove that, you know, I’m not a dirty player. I feel like I had no reason to go up there because I know who I am and they know who I am. If you’ve actually watched the tap, six years worth of my work, it just didn’t make sense. If I want to move forward and continue my career, I need to have this conversation. And it was a real transparent conversation. I think, getting that clarity from them like, ‘Hey, like, we don’t see you as this player, this isn’t the person that you are’ that cleared the air.

“Somebody told me the analytics was Trevor Lawrence, that was his first slide all season long, which is crazy. Hey, by rule, I hit him in the head and that’s a penalty. I can take that. Ejection, fine with that. Suspension, whether I like it or not, that’s fine. They have the right to do all those things, per the rules, which is what they explained to me. And I can respect that. It was just things that were said that didn’t match my career, things about being warned multiple times that weren’t true.”

During the meeting, Al-Shaair said Runyan clarified that the letter was referencing the hit on Lawrence and the pair of altercations that ensued. Al-Shaair got into it with Jaguars offensive lineman Brandon Scherff while teammate Will Anderson Jr. was escorting him off the field. A fan threw a water bottle at Al-Shaair and hit Anderson in his helmet. That followed Jaguars tight end Evan Engram retaliating by knocking Al-Shaair down while Lawrence was lying on the ground in a “fencing” posture as he clenched his hand in a movement that signifies brain trauma.

“But the way he typed it, he said got obviously taken out of context,” Al-Shaair said. “I clearly made a mistake. The reason why he typed something which ended up being taken out of context as a mistake is because I did something that was obviously not right, me taking my helmet off and me starting another brawl wasn’t right. But everything prior to that I stand on the fact that I never tried to hurt him.”

It’s the final paragraph that enraged the Texans and Al-Shaair.

“When you put information and make a statement in a letter with not having talked, ever talked to a player, not knowing the player, and then to basically paint a picture ‘Your lack of sportsmanship and respect for the game of football and all those who play, coach, and enjoy watching is troubling and does not reflect the core values of the NFL,’” Caserio said at the time of the suspension. “So, that essentially implies that Azeez doesn’t give a crap about the fans, doesn’t give a crap about playing football the right way, is not coachable. It couldn’t be further from the truth.”

Just as Al-Shaair felt judged by Runyan, he brought up the oft-replayed video of the retired offensive lineman leaping through the air to head-butt an opponent.

“I saw a play of Jon Runyan head-butting a guy through the sky,” Al-Shaair said. “That was the first play I’ve seen and I can make any assumption I want, but I don’t know him as a person. I’ve never talked to him. So, if I went and said something about him on Twitter the same way he said something about me without ever talking to me or meeting me, I would be no better. This is something we talked about in the conversation and it was, ‘I respect you.’ And I got a lot of respect for him. He had a lot of respect for me. I appreciated that transparency.”

Al-Shair acknowledged that he was wrong when he punched Chicago Bears running back Roschon Johnson last season after he was surrounded on the Bears sideline following a big hit from the linebacker on rookie quarterback Caleb Williams that was unflagged and legal, but close to the sideline.

“One of the comments was, you know, ‘99.3% of the time I play the game the right way,” Al-Shaair said. “I’ll take a 99% track record. At the same time, they’re trying to keep the game safe. And I respect that. So. Plays like what happened, you know, 100% you try to avoid. I just think it’s a learning moment for me.”

Beyond the support of the McNair family, coach DeMeco Ryans, his teammates and others, Al-Shaair said he found comfort in visiting children from a foster care organization in Nashville, Tenn. They reached out to him with messages encouraging him. He decided to fly to Nashville to attend a charity event with the foster care group he attended last year when he was playing for the Tennessee Titans.

“I got so many different messages like that and I remember just sitting in my bed and I was like: ‘Man, like I can just keep sitting here sad and sulking and just feeling like I’m being misjudged or I can just do what I always do, which is just try to be positive and spread positivity, do the best that I can,’” Al-Shaair said. “I had so many people saying so many negative things and to see people that were happy to see me and were happy about my presence I think that’s what kind of like snapped me back.

“Like regardless of what’s being said, you know who you are and just lean into that and from there just crawling myself out of this place. I just think that it definitely helped me to see the light at the end of the tunnel.”

Al-Shaair said he hasn’t spoken to Lawrence, who is on injured reserve for an unrelated shoulder injury that required surgery, not the concussion.

“I said what I said the first time with the apology,” he said. “What I did was literally just playing football. I respect that he’s a grown man and he has his own feelings. I’m not going to beg nobody to forgive me for something that I clearly didn’t do on purpose.”

Going forward, Al-Shaair said he was assured by the league that he’ll be treated normally and not be under some type of zero-tolerance policy.

“Just making sure we’re all on the same page,” Al-Shaair said. “One thing you can talk about is punching Roschon Johnson in the face, which was 1,000 percent wrong. Other than that, it’s been nothing. You’re playing a violent game. You’re playing fast. Things happen.

“They told me, ‘Hey, this is behind you. This is not something that we’re just going to pile on top of everything else.’ And I can respect that. I just kind of moved on and this will be the first and last time I’m going to talk about this.”

The deeply religious Florida native wrote on social media last year: “There is beauty in being rejected. Misunderstood. Unseen and unprotected by people. It teaches you to rely on Allah for everything.”

Aaron Wilson is a Texans and NFL reporter for KPRC 2 and click2houston.com