What to do when co-parenting apps become a tool for abuse

FILE - A woman holds a bottle of baby formula as she feeds her infant son in San Antonio on May 13, 2022. (AP Photo/Eric Gay, File) (Eric Gay, Copyright 2022 The Associated Press. All rights reserved)

HOUSTON – Co-parenting apps are a go-to solution in the family court system when parents can’t communicate civilly; however, the apps can become a digital mode of harassment.

In some cases, domestic violence victims still receive threats, disparaging remarks and inappropriate advances from their former partner via co-parenting apps, despite a judge ordering them to refrain from doing so. Parents are made aware that, per their divorce or custody agreement, messages exchanged through the app can be submitted to the court for review.

Recommended Videos



READ: Platonic co-parenting offers an alternate model for family building

A court agreement isn’t a deterrent for abusers eager to harm the other party, especially if they view the co-parenting app as another communication method when all others have been cut off.

“You have parents that just don’t give a care,” said Houston family law attorney Allecia Pottinger, founder of ALP Law Firm.

“When they don’t care, they will do whatever. They’ll literally say, ‘I don’t care what the judge said. You shouldn’t have done this, this, and this, or you haven’t done that.’ Unfortunately, there’s not many remedies out there with respect to keeping a party from doing wrong. That’s what I have to tell my clients.”

Over the course of her decades-long career, Pottinger has dealt with her fair share of determined parents, including one who attached an Apple AirTag to their child’s backpack so they could track the other parent’s whereabouts.

Stalking is one of many dangerous elements of domestic violence relationships. Maisha Colter, CEO of Aid to Victims of Domestic Violence (AVDA), a nonprofit organization located in Houston, says that it should be recognized as a precursor to more violent behavior.

“One of the big things that still continues to be necessary and needed is education of both law enforcement as well as the judiciary about domestic violence,” Said Colter.

Breaking Free: Co-parenting with an abuser

“It is a known fact for those of us who do this work that if someone is being stalked, there is a 500% likelihood that that person may be in line for higher degrees of harm to include murder fatalities.”

If someone is experiencing harassment on a co-parenting app, Colter advises them to report it to law enforcement and contact their attorney. Turning off the device is another option, but parents should notify their attorney before they go offline. If the offender is using other apps to harass the parent, Colter says this is the perfect opportunity to demonstrate that they have violated the court order by contacting them outside of the mandated app.

From there, attorneys can seek a restricted or no contact order, though obtaining a no contact order could be challenging.

Both Pottinger and Colter stated that, while there will never be a “magic fix” to end unwanted contact via co-parenting apps, the situation can be improved with increased education on domestic violence and enhanced app features that allow parents to record face-to-face interactions.


Loading...