HOUSTON – The holidays are supposed to be a happy time — but for some families, they make already-stretched relationships worse. In the Houston area, police often see more incidents of violence or abuse around holidays.
More people are together for longer, tensions run high, and stressors like money or alcohol can push unhealthy dynamics over the edge.
What does family violence look like?
Family violence isn’t just one thing. It can be physical, but it can also be emotional, sexual, financial, or a pattern of control and intimidation.
“Domestic violence is not just partner-to-partner violence, and so it really consists of any act of aggression within the family unit or people that even cohabitate together,” says licensed psychologist Dr. Staci Passe. “When there’s a child involved, we think of it in terms of child abuse but domestic violence could look like coercive threats, it can look like physical violence, it could look like power issues and stalking behaviors... there’s much more to consider.”
Why the holidays can make things worse
Here are a few reasons professionals see spikes in family violence during holidays:
- More time together — longer visits mean more chances for arguments to escalate.
- Forced reunions — estranged relatives may feel pressure to show up.
- Money stress — travel, gifts, and bills add strain.
- Alcohol and substances — celebrations can lower inhibitions and increase aggression.
- Isolation — holiday routines can make it easier for an abuser to cut someone off from support.
- Childcare and caregiving pressure — juggling kids and relatives raises tension.
Dr. Passe adds that while physical incidents may spike around gatherings, patterns of power and control run constantly. Those patterns often precede and predict escalation into more serious violence.
Signs to watch for — what family violence can look like
You don’t always see bruises. Abuse can be subtle. Watch for:
- Physical signs: unexplained bruises, frequent “accidents,” or injuries that don’t line up with the story.
- Emotion/behavior: withdrawal, sudden mood swings, anxiety, depression, or being unusually jumpy around a specific person.
- Isolation: stopped from seeing friends, family, or going to work/school.
- Control: someone closely monitoring phone or social media, controlling money, or limiting travel.
- Verbal threats and intimidation: belittling, threats to hurt, or threats to take away the kids.
- Sexual abuse: any nonconsensual sexual contact, including abuse by trusted family members.
- Stalking/harassment: repeated unwanted messages, following, or showing up where the person goes.
- Escalation patterns: arguments that get worse over time or violence that increases when someone tries to leave.
- Signs in kids: sudden aggression, regression (bedwetting, clinginess), withdrawal at school, or unexplained injuries.
If something feels off, trust your instincts.
What to do if you suspect someone is being harmed
If someone is in immediate danger, call 911. If it’s not an emergency but you’re worried, here are practical steps:
- Listen and believe them. Don’t blame — offer support.
- Avoid confronting the suspected abuser alone; that can make things more dangerous.
- Offer practical help: a phone to call, a ride, a safe place to stay, or help contacting an advocate.
- Help them make a safety plan: exit routes, emergency contacts, packed bag, and important documents ready.
- Encourage documentation: dates, photos of injuries, and saving threatening messages can help later.
- Connect them with professionals: advocates, counselors, and legal services know how to build safety plans and find shelter options.
Why reporting matters
Dr. Passe stresses the danger of letting patterns continue. “As the number of incidents increases, so does the risk of harm,” she says. What starts as controlling behavior can escalate into physical violence or worse. Early reporting and safety planning can save lives.
Resources in the Houston area
While lawmakers are working hard to implement policies that protect people from violent offenders, there are effective resources in the Houston area to help mitigate some of these issues. Some resources Passe named included:
- Houston-Area Women’s Center: The center does a lot of work with domestic violence victims, specifically women and children.
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Some other resources include:
Harris County Domestic Violence Coordinating Council: This organization has a mission to improve Harris County’s response to domestic violence by leading efforts to build collaborative systems and innovative programs that increase access to services and safety.
Fort Bend County Women’s Center: The center is a primary provider of assistance services for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault in Fort Bend County.
Familytime Crisis & Counseling Center: The center’s goal is to provide services and programs to encourage the mental health and wellness of the community as well as promote safety and support for the prevention of domestic and sexual violence.
“To report these issues as soon as they occur, even in the way of power and control, are necessary so that it doesn’t escalate into something more significant,” Passe said.
Addressing sexual assaults in families
When it comes to sexual assault and violence in families, Passe said victims are oftentimes sexually abused by someone that they know and trust.
“That makes it that much easier for the perpetrator to gain access to the child,” Passe said.
KPRC 2 released the following features in our “Breaking Free,” series, which highlights resources to those suffering from domestic violence and abuse.