Houston, Texas – There’s a new term creeping into the dating dictionary, and it’s leaving a trail of confused and heartbroken partners in its wake. It’s called “Banksying,” and it’s being dubbed the crueler cousin of ghosting.
While ghosting involves a sudden and complete communication cutoff, Banksying takes the breakup one step further—it’s the slow fade plus a digital erasure. Deleted texts, removed photos, vanishing memories—all without a word of explanation. One day you’re in love, and the next it’s as if the relationship never existed.
Dating coach Connell Barrett, founder of Dating Transformation, says this goes beyond just another toxic trend.
“Banksying is emotional abandonment disguised as self-preservation,” Barrett explains.
And according to him, it’s on the rise as more people avoid difficult conversations in favor of maintaining control.
Barrett, who has coached hundreds through the ups and downs of modern dating, believes this trend is especially damaging because it combines emotional withdrawal with the denial of history.
“When someone erases the digital footprint of a relationship, it sends the message that your time together didn’t matter. It’s not just rejection—it’s rewriting the past.”
So, why are people doing it? Barrett points to two big factors: a fear of confrontation and a growing tendency to “edit” personal narratives. With just a few taps, someone can delete reminders of vulnerability and skip accountability entirely.
If you’ve been Banksy-ed, Barrett encourages people to remember that their worth isn’t tied to someone else’s inability to communicate.
“You deserve honesty—even in endings,” he says.
He coaches clients to lean into radical authenticity, a concept that’s becoming increasingly rare in dating culture.
Ultimately, Banksying reflects a troubling shift—where quiet quitting isn’t just happening at work, but also in relationships. And while the term may be new, the hurt it causes is very real.